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moonblossom: silentstephi: derdoktorsschnabel: chocolatequeennk...

DD's Tumblr - Sat, 05/26/2018 - 19:56







12 Times Han Solo Used The Force Without Knowing It

I need Han to accidentally be force strong, mostly because HE WOULD HATE THAT SO MUCH “Wow so you’re basically a self-taught Jedi” “WHAT–ARE YOU–I’M THE BEST PILOT IN–” “That’s force shit” “I’M AN EXCELLENT SHOT” “Yeah, because of the force” “I’M INCREDIBLY PERSUASIVE” “That’s the force making people believe your terrible lies against all reason ” “I’LL SEE YOU IN HELL

I can picture his reaction now…

No, but this is:

Oh heck

George Lucas can pry Force Sensitive Han from my cold dead hands.

I love everything about this theory, but my favourite part of it by far is now utterly offended he’d be by the suggestion.

This week’s attempt at the Shortest Fanfic Ever

DD's Tumblr - Sat, 05/26/2018 - 19:50
This week’s attempt at the Shortest Fanfic Ever

Status: on the road

DD's Tumblr - Fri, 05/25/2018 - 11:07
PM: ...
DD: ...?
PM: I nearly brushed my teeth with your cortisone cream.
DD: ...Don't.
PM: No?
DD: For one thing, its whitening and breath-freshening effects are greatly overstated...

advertisingpics:Also great for armed robberies, 1964

DD's Tumblr - Wed, 05/23/2018 - 07:48


Also great for armed robberies, 1964

the-paintrist: jeza-red: This is a painting of Jacek Malczewski called simply ‘Death’ and it’s my...

DD's Tumblr - Wed, 05/23/2018 - 07:47



This is a painting of Jacek Malczewski called simply ‘Death’ and it’s my favourite personification of death in any medium. 

She’s not creepy or scary, or sexy, or abstract. She is this thick woman with worn hands, dressed as normal, with a non-stylised scythe and pins in her hair: like a farmer’s wife that just came form the field and rests against the wall, catching some sun. She is not creeping about the dying one holding her scythe over their head, she is just there, calmly waiting her turn. 

This painting always fills me with peace and optimism when I think about death. She is just there, outside the window, in no hurry at all, sensible and down to earth. I can live with that.

Jacek Malczewski  (15 July 1854 – 8 October 1929) is one of the most revered painters of Poland, associated with the patriotic Young Poland movement following the century of Partitions. He is regarded as the father of Polish Symbolism. In his creative output, Malczewski combined the predominant style of his times, with historical motifs of Polish martyrdom, the Romantic ideals of independence, Christian and Greek traditions, folk mythology, as well as his love of the natural environment.

It’s my birthday and I’ll have a sale if I want to. :)

DD's Tumblr - Fri, 05/18/2018 - 09:46

I’ve always kind of liked the Hobbit concept of the birthday, where you give everybody else presents. So as a nod in this direction, while I’m off gorging myself on cake of some kind or another (because Peter is taking me away for the weekend and has promised me that THERE WILL BE CAKE), here’s the scoop: since I am 66 today,* everything of mine at Ebooks Direct is on sale at 66% off until 23:59 PM Hawaiian time on May 18th.

Yes, even the 9-volume Young Wizards New Millennium Editions box sets. Today they’re available at a really crazy price, so if you’ve been thinking about acquiring these, now’s your chance to grab yourself a bargain. (Just a note to remind you that all these books are in the process of being republished with new covers and interior formatting, so if you pick up a set now, expect free updates in the coming weeks. The store will email you with new download links when this happens.)

Click on this link to go to the Birthday Sale page with the full inventory.

Meanwhile, everybody have a really good day, because I’m now off to get packed and see about that cake. :)

*AND NOW ELIGIBLE FOR MY IRISH “SENIOR” BUS PASS, HURRAY!!! (heh heh) They have NO idea what they’re turning loose on this poor unsuspecting island…

Do you read Neil Gaiman? I just started reading American Gods a few days ago, and something about the way he writes about the US and its landscape and culture echoes my memories of So You Want to be a Wizard and the way you talk about New York. Both...

DD's Tumblr - Fri, 05/18/2018 - 09:37

I definitely read Neil. I’m a fan of his from way back. :) And being compared to him in any old way is high praise around here, believe me. So thanks for that!

killerzebras: cutiemancer: archiemcphee: The Department of...

DD's Tumblr - Thu, 05/17/2018 - 21:09




The Department of Unexpected Interspecies Friendship is celebrating Caturday by enjoying these photos of a floofy grey cat and a teeny-tiny chipmunk hanging out together on a lovely day.

Redditor _GoldGuy_ watched and took photos as his impressively laid-back cat befriended a chipmunk. The two were tentative at first, but eventually the tiny, stripy rodent was lounging on the cat’s fluffy back and later nestling under his even floofier belly.

[via Bored Panda]

When you roll a 23 and charm the dragon.


we-are-rogue: Adalia de Volador by Julien Fenoglio This is...

DD's Tumblr - Tue, 05/15/2018 - 20:30


Adalia de Volador by Julien Fenoglio

This is what En Garde’s main character looks like, at the end of pre-production


facts-i-just-made-up:You have been visited by the Public Domain...

DD's Tumblr - Tue, 05/15/2018 - 20:29


You have been visited by the Public Domain Etrog Photo of Double Friendship. Reblog today and you will have two new good friends by Sukkot.

mirrorfalls: Fundamentalist fearmongering video: This dungeon “master” is given complete control and...

DD's Tumblr - Tue, 05/15/2018 - 20:28


Fundamentalist fearmongering video: This dungeon “master” is given complete control and “players” must do whatever dark things are demanded of them.

Real DM: Please, just cross the river. You’ve all tried to seduce the catfish and it didn’t work. I’m begging you.

(chuckle) From this month’s French edition of FLOW Magazine: the...

DD's Tumblr - Mon, 05/14/2018 - 23:26

(chuckle) From this month’s French edition of FLOW Magazine: the French translation of that quote from So You Want To Be A Wizard. (via @makiwi at Twitter)

thedreadpiratejames: knight: rides into battle without helmet...

DD's Tumblr - Mon, 05/14/2018 - 14:53


knight: rides into battle without helmet everyone: gives him strange looks
knight: “kitty was sleeping in it”
everyone: nods in agreement


DD's Tumblr - Mon, 05/14/2018 - 14:52

pervocracy: allthingslinguistic: The International Phonetic...

DD's Tumblr - Mon, 05/14/2018 - 14:50



The International Phonetic Alphabet consonants found in English, with keywords and relevant parts of the mouth highlighted and colour-coded. (Source.) 

Pronouncing each of these in sequence is a very strange and amusing physical sensation, and I highly recommend it.

la-knight: angry–tiresia: punkbone: mia7437: thisiswhymomworries: bitcherovas: starism: starism...

DD's Tumblr - Mon, 05/14/2018 - 14:48









i Still cant believe sneaking out is an Actual thing that teenagers Do

this is just so unrealistic to me like what the fuck how do yall do it??? i have Arguments and Questions

1. like what am i supposed to do if i live in a building??? do i just wait for the elevator?? do i take the stairs?? mind me there could be a Lot of stairs
2. how THE FUCK do yall manage to do all this shit without waking anyone up?? this is So Fake!! if i so much as sneeze into my pillow my mom will come into my room and see if my ass is okay and then complain that i woke her up
4. if my mom found out that id been going places in the middle of the night u bet your ass id be dead the next day
5. i dont believe in this concept At All

i mean i guess it’s possible the way american houses are built but it’s still a bit far fetched imo but yea growing up in Puerto Rico in an urbanizacion it was like lmao you can’t sneak out in a house like that. first of all our windows are miami style of whatever, second of all there’s only 1 functioning door (technically our house had 2 but 1 of them had potted plants on both sides so it was never used but in any case both were on the same side of the house), and the house is so small like you would hear someone opening and closing it. plus you just know at least 1 person on your street would be up and would spill that piping hot tea to your parents the next day.

so my sister snuck out of the house one night because we live in an old house in the country that’s always creaking and “settling” which, good news: is perfect for sneaking out because there’s always weird noises anyway; bad news: we’re in the middle of the woods and there’s always creepy fucking noises

but hey, what are white girls gonna do except sneak out at night and through the woods to go have sex with their boyfriends?

what could go wrong??

and I do literally mean through the woods. our driveway is a quarter of a mile long through actual wooded area, and she wasn’t smart enough to grab a flashlight. but she could sort of see the headlights of her boyfriend’s car at the very end so it wasn’t so bad going down to be picked up

except when she got dropped off, she had to make the trip back up the driveway, through the dark scary woods, with no light whatsoever, at like 3 am or some other Gonna Get White Girl Murdered time

and she was high as fuuuuuuuuuuck

so she’s creeping her way back up the driveway, trying to move slow or else she’ll fall off the ground and get lost in the sky forever. really fucking high

then she steps on a frog

because we also have a 3 acre “pond” like our property isn’t fucking creepy enough already and my first-time-to-ever-be-high sister stepped on a FROG and apparently it both squished and belched, and keep in mind that with no light whatsoever she doesn’t know what the fuck just happened AT ALL

I wake up to a series of frantic text messages

hlp he lp HEL

dont’ tell momd and dad

i jsut murdered somtheing

also, just for context, this is also the sister that pierced her own ears and gave herself a stick’n’poke tattoo with a lighter and my mom’s sewing needle because she “got restless” and picked a fight with a girl two grades above, half a foot taller, and probably a hundred pounds heavier AND WON

(it doesn’t matter if you’re smol if you get ‘em on the ground and get on top)


so waking up to an “I just murdered something” text from her was … actually kind of inevitable. siblings are either ride or die or no officer I’ve never seen that person before, and that night, I decided I was ride or die

so then I take MY dumb white girl ass out into the woods in the middle of the night, but at least I’m smart enough to take a flashlight. sister had already texted me she was “onthe driveways” but again, that’s a quarter mile journey

finally I arrive at the scene of the crime

sister: sitting in the gravel, crying, makeup a Mess

frog: laying still beside her, looking like a slightly smaller Jabba the Hut

she points at the frog and sobs that it’s a heart. obviously a frog. a fucking BIG ASS frog, but still. I’m relieved, but also super pissed, because I drug myself out of bed, snuck out too, and dangled my sumptuous human body in front of all the Forest Monsters on my way down here and there isn’t even a fucking body

just a frog, which I pick up to show her is not a heart, and turns out to only be stunned! not dead! still very much alive and full of pee!!

so it pisses all over me and slimes out of my hand, escaping into the night

also, I totally held my sister’s hand with my Piss Hand as I led her back home because she deserved it

this was a goddamned journey


It took so long to read this I was trying not to laugh in front of my boss

I mean, I don’t have a funny story like that, but I snuck out of my parents’ house when I was 15 to go to the library. I just waited until my dad left for work and then an hour to make sure he wouldn’t be back, then walked the 9 miles to the library.

I didn’t sneak OUT when I was a kid because my parents had a security system that would go off if you opened a window and my dad slept on the couch right next to the alarm itself, but I had to sneak food my senior year because my dad didn’t let me eat much.

So I’d wait until he was asleep and snoring, then sneak into the kitchen to make myself a sandwich. My dad would count bread slices every day to make sure I wasn’t eating a shit ton of bread, so I made a “stacked sandwich” - bread, 3 slices of cheese spaced with layers of lunch meat, bread, 3 slices of cheese spaced with layers off lunch meat, bread. One sandwich about the thickness of a family-sized box of cereal.

The biggest challenge was getting the fridge open. Slipping my index fingernail and then finger between the seals would break the seal and then I could open the fridge without having to jerk on it and possibly wake up my dad.

Also I did this all in the light of the television and if my dad stopped snoring or made a noise, I dropped behind the counter and waited until he started snoring again before I finished making my sandwich. Then I’d stuff it under my shirt against my side, wrapped in paper towels, and creep back to my room to eat.

earthlynation:Black Squirrel. Source

DD's Tumblr - Mon, 05/14/2018 - 14:44


Black Squirrel. Source

Chiming in on the Mother’s Day stuff- thank you so very much for writing so many positive parent/child relationships in the YW-verse. Seeing families supporting and bickering but being so very present for each other is a gift. And, as hard as AWD was...

DD's Tumblr - Sun, 05/13/2018 - 23:12

You’re most welcome.

Re The Wizard’s Dilemma: that was my mom, standing (as it were) behind Nita’s. Even forty years after her death, there were still internal issues to be dealt with… so I dealt with them there. It’s heartening to see how many other people that book has aided in dealing with their own pain, and I’m grateful to have had the opportunity.

Several years ago on LiveJournal, I was in a community for people to recommend books to read after Harry Potter. I reviewed the young wizards series (love it), "it's like wizardry for engineers", and someone claiming to be you responded. If it was,...

DD's Tumblr - Sun, 05/13/2018 - 22:33

It sounds like something I might have said. :) (Which doesn’t necessarily mean it *was* me, mind you, because people have occasionally impersonated me… but whatever.) I’m glad you’ve been having fun with the books. And please greet your Mom for me and let her know I’m glad she’s enjoying them too. :)