The real writer experience is standing in the shower and coming up with the most authentic dialogue with perfect phrasing and raw emotion in your head, then stepping out and drying your hair, putting on some clean pajamas and opening a word document to write down all your perfect ideas only to realize everything has evaporated.
I FEEL CALLED OUT
Never lose a perfect shower line again.*
*Remember to erase promptly if you share a bathroom with anyone.
I’ve used these to outline term papers. nothing like a bath to get your brain to finally kick into gear and figure out your damn thesis
What also works:
Buy a small digital recorder to dictate into, and leave it in the bathroom. Or: get a reciording app for your phone. Or: get a cheap write-under-water pad and pencil to hang in the shower (online gift stores sell these).
This phenomenon is a problem for both me and @petermorwood. Which is why if we ever become rich I want to buy a retirement apartment in Leukerbad (in Switzerland), where there is a hot water spring under the town that emits thirty million liters of hot water every day, and because all the properties in the town get their hot water from it for free, YOUR SHOWER WILL NEVER RUN COLD. NEVER. NEVER EVER. And you can stay in ther and have writing ideas until you prune to death.
My preferred method of death. :)
Whoever put this gifset together is a monster.
I kinda want to laugh at the idea that burning the heart-shaped herb means the plants are gone, like FUCK…have you ever weeded a garden in your LYFE?? You WISH burning plants killed them, holy shit. Those plants’re gonna come back even thicker AND they’ll have extra fertilizer from the ash compost. They’re vibranium plants, those roots run deep.
All this plus HELL YES SHURI’S SEED VAULT!!!!
Erik: BURN THEM
Attendants: Are you sure? That’s gonna set us back, like, a whole six months…
Erik: YES I’M SURE. I WANT THEM GONE.
Attendants: …We’re just not gonna mention that this won’t actually get rid of them.
Basically, I think the whole nation of Wakanda was like, “We’re gonna humour this guy to achieve our own ends until we can find a way to get rid of him.”
My former mother-in-law once chopped down a wisteria and poured poison around the stump and it still came back.
A herb with vibranium at its core is probably still stronger.
So I like hot stuff. I’m not like, a dick about it. I don’t brag because there are people out there that can handle waaaay hotter foods than me. It’s not a competition.
So I’m at Tijuana Flats, a “mexican” food restaurant chain famous for their hot sauce bar. All in all, what they put out on the bar isn’t the spiciest stuff in the world, but you’ll find some delicious gems in there.
I immediately look at whatever is marked black as hottest for the day (they change them) and immediately go to pump some into the little paper containers provided when…
“Whooaaa, sweetheart you don’t want to do that,”
I turned around and there’s this skinny guy in jeans and a logo polo. There’s another dude wearing the same shirt, so they must have come here from some sad IT job. I’m a little taken aback at this dude’s presumption that I am ignorant to what I’m doing, but I blow it off.
”Nah, man, it’s got the black label, I haven’t tried this one yet.”
”Are you sure? It’s really spicy.”
”I’m pretty sure dude.”
”I don’t think you should, because it was a bit much for me.”
At this point I’m feeling patronized. I stare at him.
“It’s fine. Really.”
“Oooookay,” He says in this exasperated, don’t-say-I-didn’t-warn-you kind of voice. I get my hot sauce and sit down. Food arrives, I taste it with a chip first to test. It’s super sweet, actually. I dump the whole thing on my taco. I don’t know if he’s watching.
I go up to the counter and ask the manager to ring me up a bottle of the sauce to take home. It was pretty delicious! Manager says he’ll bring it to my table.
They bring it, I pay, and the server asks if I’m into hot sauces - of course I say yes. Hot Sauce Police is now watching. She brings me an assortment of sauces they do not serve at the bar because of liability reasons. One of them was rated at 1.5 million Scoville units. I bought all of them, signing the credit card slip as he watches.
I finished my meal.
Then I looked right at him and licked the fucking paper container when I was done.
It’s the two year anniversary of the incident.
from Edward the Booble https://ift.tt/2HI8J7Q
A bit overzealous about the Crunchie bar, 1950s
“Visit Your Far West National Parks, U.S.A.- Canada.” - Travel by Train., 1934.
Snow on the dunes. Mars is beautiful in the early morning light.
Randomly was reminded of a certain 80s cartoon, flipped through a few google search results... and find out you worked on Dinosaucers? That's like when I found out JMS worked on Ghostbusters. Nothing like unexpected connections :-D
(grin) And more to the point, JMS and I were across the building at DiC from each other: around a corner, down a long hall, around another corner. Sometimes I could hear the noise from his office as notes from BS&P were noisily rejected. :) (I was a bit quieter about ours, as I was a just a tyro story editor and Joe had done this before…but the rejections were as heartfelt.)
…Good times, good times!
Thank you again! (Especially for taking time out of your day to answer.) Your advice in the second post is just as helpful as the advice in the first! I would have never thought to actively prep for any shit that came my way. You've given me a boost of...
You’re most welcome.
(And as for taking time out of my day: A lot of writers, some of them very senior names indeed, were kind enough to take the time to give me a lot of worthwhile advice when I was getting started in the professional sphere. It’s a pleasure to pay those favors forward, and to make the time to do it. Often enough during the work day I get mired in the business that surrounds writing, rather than the writing itself, and it’s a pleasure to have a question that pulls me back to dealing with essentials.)
Re the “prepping for the shit” issue: It’s beyond useful. (Though I’d much prefer you never had to use it. Come to think of it, I wish I never did.) The whole concept is aimed at assisting you in nailing down and (eventually/ideally) enforcing your agency in a situation that so frequently starts with someone you don’t know initiating the shit to begin with. Without the prep it’s too easy to fall into the kind of mindset where you’re overwhelmed with all the crap being dumped on top of you and start to lose any sense of management, let alone control.
But imagining the texture and nature of the shit that might be flung at you serves more than just the useful purpose of helping you answer quickly (and apparently “off the cuff”, which when you do it often enough, starts to really freak people out). It also gradually assists you in protectively distancing yourself from the insults and abuse, helps you see them as less personal – even if they’re intended by the people hurling them for you to see them as very personal indeed. The distancing will both leave you better able to keep the abuse from affecting you to the extent these people wish it would, and also really frustrate the ones doing the hurling when the shit they hurl just doesn’t seem to stick. (And serves them right, the schmucks.)
Eventually, if you do your research (annoying as that will be, it gets pretty ugly out there) and don’t hesitate to reach for help from friends when you need it, you’ll be able to handle this stuff with the aplomb of a connoisseur of excreta who pulls out exactly enough reaction to both make the good-hearted folks applaud and leave the nasty ones fuming. “Oh, look, dinosaur shit! I haven’t seen any of that in, wow, ages! What’s it been eating, I wonder?” … and then having analyzed it for your own amusement and the delectation of the masses, get back with a light heart to writing.
So, enough shit for one morning. :) Time for you to figure out where to start work, and then get started. Bonne chance!
…And meanwhile I leave you with these examples of what great writers of the past have sounded like when they start in on each other. (There’s a bit of overlap, but wtf.)
‘How are the feds going to use what they have to get what they want? Based on what you know from other cases like this.’
'You think there are other cases like this?’
- from “A Veteran Defense Lawyer Explans How The Feds Can Flip Michael Cohen”
We’ve waited a year to reblog this. Happy Bread Anniversary!
Because it’s important to celebrate the little victories in life.
You said, in an earlier post— "I don’t think anyone sets out on purpose to write badly." I would draw your attention to the various deliberate trollfics people have made in the world of fanfiction, such as Half Life: Full Life Consequences and ...
I don’t know that trollfic is bad fic – or badly written – any more than traditional Swiss guggemusik (band music played purposely out of tune on purposely beat-up instruments) is bad music. A case could be made that it’s harder to do satirical writing than just-plain. (But somebody else can make that case, because it’s my bedtime.) :)
Thank you SO MUCH for your answer. It's exactly what I needed to hear. To clarify something: what I specifically meant by low-rated fluff is that it feels (especially in the fanfic realm) that it's only safe for me to write that, not that it's...
You’re entirely welcome.
When I was writing last night the phrasing of the original query seemed a little ambiguous to me, but that’s on me, not you. Let me come at it briefly from the other side of the issue, the specific problem you’re discussing; because while the advice taken generally does still apply, your present challenge is a little differently composed and its possible solutions will look a little different.
ETA: AAAAAAAAAAHHH THAT WAS NOT SUPPOSED TO POST RIGHT THEN! Argh.
Bear with me a bit and I’ll add to this. People, please don’t reblog this till I’m done with it, OK? (…Bloody “post” button… mutter mutter…)
As of mid-April 2018 we’re beginning what will be a year-long project of reformatting and re-releasing all the works in our inventory at Ebooks Direct, both old and new.
With this update in mind, we’ve made the jump to the cutting-edged Vellum book-and-ebook production software. Vellum produces beautifully formatted ebooks featuring greatly enhanced compatibility with today’s e-readers and ebook reading apps – something we’re sure all our readers will appreciate.
The first book to be updated is Midnight Snack and Other Fairy Tales, available in its new edition starting today in the Ebooks Direct store. If you’ve already purchased this book, don’t think you have to buy it again for the sake of the new formatting (or the new cover)! The store is presently in the process of notifying all Midnight Snack’s purchasers that the updated edition is available for them to download, free of charge. If you don’t have a copy: pick one up and check out our new look! The book’s on sale at 30% off for today only.
If you purchased Midnight Snack as a multi-format bundle: please note that we have been phasing out the old Microsoft Reader .lit files, as there’s almost no uptake for them any more. Your bundle will still contain the generic .epub and .mobi versions.
To be kept abreast of the details about old books (and new ones) as they’re re-issued or newly released, please follow the Ebooks Direct Twitter account or our Facebook page: or check the store’s news blog from time to time.
Thanks for your continued support!
I apologize if your release schedule is posted somewhere online ( I couldn't find it :( ), but will IE3 and/or YW11 be released within 2018? Any potential news you can share with your adoring fans?
Re IE3: it’s still in process. We’ll see what happens with it re: 2018.
Meanwhile I can promise you that YW11 will definitely NOT be out in 2018, as it too is still in process. Sorry about that.
Is the third feline wizards book ever going to get an audiobook release like the first two? Also thank you so much for writing as you do. Your books, especially tbonwm were a huge part of my childhood.
You’re very welcome!
Re audio on THE BIG MEOW: I’m looking at it, but (as a rule) doing it well runs into money. That said: there are some new services opening up to authors who want this kind of thing to happen to their work. I have my eye on them and I’m looking to see how that might be made to happen. Bear with me…
Nothing as yet… so sorry. (It’s still being written – that much I can tell you. WIP…)
So (according to the concept art book) as the Fellowship travels deeper into Middle Earth, the places they pass through become inspired by progressively older periods of history. The farther along you are in the story, the more ancient the design influences
We begin in The Shire: which feels so familiar because, with its tea-kettles and cozy fireplaces, it’s inspired by the relatively recent era of rural England in the 1800s
But when we leave Hobbiton, we also leave that familiar 1800s-England aesthetic behind and start going farther back in time.
Bree is based on late 1600s English architecture
Rohan is even farther back, based on old anglo-saxon era architecture (400s-700s? ce)
Gondor is way back, and no longer the familiar English or Anglo-Saxon: its design comes from classical Greek and Roman architecture
And far far FAR back is Mordor. It’s a land of tents and huts: prehistoric, primitive, primeval. Cavemen times
And the heart of Mordor is a barren lifeless hellscape of volcanic rock…like a relic from the ages when the world was still being formed, and life didn’t yet exist
And then they finally reach Mount Doom, which one artist described as
“where the ring was made, which represents, in a sense, the moment of creation itself”
I’ve watched the movies a few times and love them so much so I can’t believe I actually missed this!