The “So You Want to Be a Wizard” movie: background and FAQ

January 18, 2007

I thought I’d better do this now before things get out of hand.

Lots of people have mailed me over the years to say “There oughta be a movie…” This has been a possibility I’ve had my eye on literally since the first book was published. Over the years, various independent producers have occasionally optioned the first book with an eye to shopping it around the studios. However, that’s all that ever happened: shopping.

However, times change and the world shifts.

For the past six months or so I’ve been having discussions with a major Hollywood production entity. (I will not be naming them until the ink is dry on a contract: in fact, the first you guys will be hearing of it is when Variety publishes the story.) These are highly successful people who have a track record littered with hit films, and who have (I feel) the correct attitude toward this particular work.

The discussions have made it plain that the best way for this project to proceed is for there to be a screenplay of So You Want to Be a Wizard. Therefore (as a result of work done between last August and now) I’ve written one. I’m presently cutting and retooling the first draft, which is far too long, and will be sending the second draft out to our screen agents and the other interested parties within a week to ten days.

And, right now, that’s all there is, so don’t everybody get overexcited. We are a loooooooong way from a movie as yet. (I will say, though, that things look unusually promising.) But there are a million things that can still go wrong…so don’t everybody get your hopes up.

My top ten nominees for Frequently Asked Questions so far:

(Q1) Can I be in it?

(A1) I have no idea. Even if in The Best of All Possible Situations (hereafter abbreviated as TBOAPS) I wound up with a productorial credit, this is not a department where I would be allowed a say. Film productions hire skilled casting directors whose job is to find the best person for any given part. Their suggestions then go to the director and executive producers, who have the actors read for the parts and make their choices. The chances that I would be allowed anywhere near this process are vanishingly small, so please note: I am not the person to ask.

(Q2) Will there be open-call casting?

(A2) No idea. Much too soon to tell.

(Q3) Are you going to be in it?

(A3) I wouldn’t mind doing a small Hitchcocky wander-through in the background of some busy scene (say one of the scenes in Grand Central). But there’s no way to tell at this end of time whether that’ll happen.

(Q4) Who would you like to see starring in it?

(A4) Two unknowns as Nita and Kit, Pierce Brosnan as the Lone Power, David Hyde Pierce as the voice of Fred. (Are we likely to get Brosnan? [a] No. [b] You’re kidding, right?)

(Q5) Can you get me on the set?

(A5) Highly unlikely. I’ll be lucky if I can get me on the set. (And there is another side to this. When the producers/directors call the writer to the scene of the shooting, it is routinely a sign of Big Trouble. In this capacity, I absolutely do not want to be on the set.)

(Q6) When will it come out?

(A6) (Again: You’re kidding, right?) In TBOAPS — which in this case would mean that immediately after I turn the script in, everybody raves, the production entity or their associated studio instantly buys an option to produce the first novel, the studio greenlights the production on the basis of the script in hand, and pre-production starts immediately — then, wildly optimistically, early 2009. But this would never happen. Late 2009, a Christmas release perhaps, would be more realistic. And if there’s a delay of any kind associated with any of these stages, then later still. 2010 possibly. 2011. Other possible causes of delay: extensive rewrites, disagreements with the producers, problems finding a director, disagreements with the director, California falling off into the ocean, Earth being hit by a giant meteor, etc etc. Anyway, it’s much too soon to tell. It’ll all be in the press release in Variety, some day. (Some day this year, I much hope.)

(Q7a) Can we see the script? (Q7b) Can you just email it to me privately?

(A7a) Sorry, no. I’m not above leaking the very, very occasional scene or scrap of dialogue in my weblogs. But when I sign the contract, further leaks will become impossible. Enjoy what you see when you see it: a couple / few more bits may turn up without warning. I will blog about how things are going with the project, in a general sort of way. And when we start production, I’ll be able to blog about that. But you all need to understand that once I climb into bed with a studio, the rules change drastically in terms of what can be revealed about the guts of the film itself. (A7b) Sorry, no.

(Q8) Where’s the official website?

(A8) There isn’t one as yet. The appearance of one will be an indication that things are getting serious — ideally, that we’re about to start pre-production. I want to press my producers to be more than usually forthcoming about making production logs and other similar material available on the Intarwebz, insofar as this doesn’t interfere with other publicity and project security issues. Will this actually happen? Repeat after me: It’s much too soon to tell.

(Q9) Will there be more than one movie?

(A9) That’d be my preference, but It’s much much MUCH too soon to tell. So much depends on what happens to the first film. …Look at Eragon, for example. You really think there’s likely to be a film of Eldest, in view of the first film’s lackluster box-office performance so far? (It has so far made twice as much overseas than it did in the US, whch was supposed to be its main market: it’s nowhere near profit, and a long, long way from earning back its production costs and distributors’ expenses.) I for one would be really surprised if Fox went out on the limb for a sequel in any format except direct-to-DVD, with the inevitably associated decrease in budget and production values. Looking strictly at the economics of the problem, it seems unlikely. But I could be completely wrong.

(Q10) Are you buzzed?

(A10)

• (version a) In a very quiet professional kind of way, because there’s so much that can still go completely, astonishingly, ballistically wrong.
• (version b) OMG SQUEEEEE!!11!111! (Wait a minute, I can’t squeee at my own stuff. Something inherently wrong with the concept.)
• (version c) You’re kidding, right? 

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