{"id":4668,"date":"2016-11-02T10:49:37","date_gmt":"2016-11-02T10:49:37","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/dianeduane.com\/outofambit\/?p=4668"},"modified":"2016-11-02T10:49:37","modified_gmt":"2016-11-02T10:49:37","slug":"haunted","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.dianeduane.com\/outofambit\/2016\/11\/02\/haunted\/","title":{"rendered":"Haunted"},"content":{"rendered":"
\n

So it\u2019s dark and the power\u2019s been off for hours, and I\u2019m sitting downstairs reading fanfic by candlelight, and the wind is howling whooo, whooo<\/i> outside, blowing leaves and twigs and stuff around so that sometimes they whack into the windows, and it\u2019s all very atmospheric, and I think It\u2019s a good thing I\u2019m not of a Nervous Disposition \u2013 as the commercials used to have it \u2013 because a night like this could seriously freak you out if you were.<\/p>\n

(Especially since there\u2019s haunted ground just up the road. Or ground that\u2019s supposed <\/i>to be haunted. I\u2019ve<\/i> never had any problems with it, and I\u2019ve walked past it all alone in the dead of night lots of times, and never had so much as a peep out of it. But we have neighbors who wouldn\u2019t walk past that particular area after dark for any money.)<\/p>\n

Anyway. So it\u2019s dark and the candleflames are fluttering a bit (the house is prone to drafts in this weather, more so than usual when the wind is going by at 80kph or thereabouts) and there\u2019s no telling when the power will come on again, and in the midst of reading I look away from the iPad for a moment, a bit bored, and a few seconds later a voice speaks to me and says:<\/p>\n

CHARACTER: I want to be in the next book.<\/p>\n

And I kind of rub my face and go \u201cOh great.\u201d Because of all nights when I don\u2019t feel like having one of these conversations, tonight probably tops the list. I had about fifteen things that needed doing on the big computer, and they\u2019re all impossible with the power out, and as a result I am cranky.<\/p>\n

(You must understand that the dialogue that follow plays itself out in-head over the course of no more than about fifteen seconds. Also that I can\u2019t discuss the identity of the character in question right now. Or indeed later.)<\/p>\n

DD: What?<\/p>\n

CHARACTER: I\u2019m not wild about where you left me in this last one.<\/p>\n

DD: I think you were in a pretty good place, actually.<\/p>\n

CHARACTER: I don\u2019t. I think you need to put me in the next one. I could be useful.<\/p>\n

DD: I don\u2019t really see how that\u2019s the case, because [REDACTED] and it\u2019s not exactly in your specialty area.<\/p>\n

CHARACTER: But if you put me in there you\u2019ll figure something out.<\/p>\n

DD: See, that\u2019s not how it works. There\u2019s this outline, and in it are all the things that\u2019re going to happen, and you\u2019re not really part of that through line. Partly because your skillset wouldn\u2019t particularly contribute to the dynamic, which in terms of the cast of characters is very tight in book 11 because [REDACTED]. And partly because I don\u2019t just put characters into a story on the off chance that they\u2019ll contribute something somehow!<\/p>\n

CHARACTER: In my case you should anyway.<\/p>\n

DD (rubs eyes, which are playing her up somewhat due to the crap lighting): This is just one of those goofball ideas that hits you late at night and turns out to have no merit in the light of day.<\/p>\n

CHARACTER: You\u2019ll never know, though, if you don\u2019t make a note of it so that you can <\/i>examine it in the light of day.<\/p>\n

DD: (goes looking for pen and paper, tries to make a note, can barely see to write, sighs in annoyed acquiescence and turns on the laptop to make a note there. Rather like this.) You\u2019re a real pain in the ass, you know that?<\/p>\n

CHARACTER: And whose fault is that? You<\/i> created me.<\/p>\n

DD: (annoyed, because to this argument there\u2019s no easily available rejoinder: rubs forehead) Remind me again why I\u2019m even in this business?<\/p>\n

EXTREMELY LARGE CHORUS OF CHARACTERS, INCLUDING PEOPLE WITH FLAMING SWORDS AND SIMILAR WEAPONS, NUMEROUS DRAGONS, MANY ALIENS, VARIOUS WHALES, CATS AND TEENAGERS, ASSORTED FOLKS IN STARFLEET UNIFORM, A BUNCH OF CARTOON AND COMICS CHARACTERS, AND ENDLESS OTHERS: Because you\u2019re too lazy to dig ditches and too chicken to rob banks.
\n<\/i><\/p>\n

DD: Yeah, thanks loads. And as for you \u2013\u00a0<\/i><\/p>\n

CHARACTER: Think about it. <\/i><\/p>\n

DD: All right, all right, I\u2019ll think about it.
\n<\/i><\/p>\n

(soft click as the lights come back on as if in reward for good behavior)<\/p>\n

DD: (hides eyes) Oh, feck.
\n<\/i><\/p>\n

\u2026and outside, the wind starts to die down\u2026<\/p>\n

DD: (EYEROLL)<\/p>\n

(To the person who commented \u201cThey\u2019ve got minds of their own sometimes, haven\u2019t they?\u201d \u2026No, they\u2019ve got minds of my<\/i> own. Which is what makes it both so infuriating and so funny.) \ud83d\ude42<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

(originally posted at Tumblr<\/a>)<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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