{"id":5913,"date":"2019-03-21T10:44:37","date_gmt":"2019-03-21T10:44:37","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/dianeduane.com\/outofambit\/?p=5913"},"modified":"2023-12-09T14:15:06","modified_gmt":"2023-12-09T14:15:06","slug":"have-you-always-been-gay","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.dianeduane.com\/outofambit\/2019\/03\/21\/have-you-always-been-gay\/","title":{"rendered":"“Have you always been gay?”"},"content":{"rendered":"

INTERVIEWER: \u2026So the question going the rounds in the fictional-character or character-meta world right now is: Have you always been gay?<\/p>\n

THE FIVE: (exchange bemused glances)<\/p>\n

HEREWISS: I\u2019m not sure I follow you.<\/p>\n

INTERVIEWER: That is, explicitly gay in canon instead of being declared so without actually displaying any indicators there.<\/p>\n

FREELORN (dubious): He\u2019s usually fairly cheerful. Except early in the morning, he\u2019s not really a morning person. And as for her, better avoid the subject entirely.<\/p>\n

INTERVIEWER: Sorry, I’m, uh, apparently having an idiom problem. I mean, homosexual.<\/p>\n

HEREWISS:\u00a0 \u2026Excuse me?<\/p>\n

INTERVIEWER: Have you always liked men?<\/p>\n

HEREWISS: \u2026At least since the late 2800s. My dad got me started.<\/p>\n

INTERVIEWER: What??<\/i><\/p>\n

FREELORN: Oh, wait, wait,<\/em> you meant sexually?!<\/i><\/p>\n

SEGNBORA: The \u201clike\u201d usage\u2019s rather on the euphemistic side, wouldn\u2019t you say?<\/p>\n

FREELORN: Pretty mealy-mouthed, actually.<\/p>\n

SUNSPARK: I keep forgetting some of Herself\u2019s people are so nervous about this. Must be dreadful for them.<\/p>\n

HEREWISS: Well, it\u2019s not ours to judge. \u2018Sexually attracted\u2019 to men? Yes, for quite a while. (smiles at Freelorn)<\/p>\n

FREELORN: And here I thought our shouts of \u201cWE\u2019RE FUCK<\/em>INNNNNG\u201d in book 1 would have been a bit of a giveaway? Seems not.<\/p>\n

SUNSPARK: Perhaps you should attempt being less subtle.<\/p>\n

HEREWISS: Though for me it\u2019s hardly an exclusive preference. I\u2019ve been known to break over in other directions. (glances at Segnbora & Sunspark: grins)\u00a0 From time to time. When there were no other options.<\/p>\n

SEGNBORA (to Sunspark: dry): Let\u2019s toss for which of us makes him sleep on the couch tonight.<\/p>\n

FREELORN (to Sunspark): Her coin\u2019s loaded.<\/p>\n

SEGNBORA: Of course it\u2019s loaded. I got it from you. <\/i><\/p>\n

INTERVIEWER: Uh, all right. (to Segnbora) And you?<\/p>\n

SEGNBORA: Is it same-sex issues we\u2019re concerned about here? Then yes. I \u2018like\u2019 women. In fact, in canon my first loved was a woman, and later on I married her, so that would seem to be some kind of an indicator.<\/p>\n

HEREWISS: You\u2019d think.<\/i><\/p>\n

FREELORN: And not just any woman!<\/p>\n

SEGNBORA: All right, the beautiful princess. (smiles)<\/p>\n

HEREWISS: Come on now, she was Queen by then!<\/p>\n

SEGNBORA (patient): It\u2019s a trope,<\/i> Dusty. Do keep up.<\/p>\n

FREELORN: And you married a King,<\/i> as well. (smirks)<\/p>\n

SEGNBORA (resigned sigh): Yes, it\u2019s true, I also married these two idiots.<\/p>\n

SUNSPARK: Well, there\u2019s no accounting for taste.<\/p>\n

SEGNBORA: As well as this<\/i> delightful creature.<\/p>\n

SUNSPARK: (smug) She does get it right more often than not.<\/p>\n

SEGNBORA: And the one sitting on the roof.<\/p>\n

HASAI: She is nothing if not generous with her time.<\/p>\n

INTERVIEWER: Uh, all right, I, uh\u2014thank you. And this was in what year?<\/p>\n

SEGNBORA: 2927.<\/p>\n

INTERVIEWER: Sorry, what year in our world?<\/p>\n

FREELORN: Oh Goddess, your<\/em> calendars! Honestly, how do you cope?<\/p>\n

SEGNBORA: You have to wonder. Half the months are different lengths. Herself told me about the little poem they use to keep the lengths straight and I flat out did not<\/i> believe her.<\/p>\n

HEREWISS: You two just stop it, now. It was 1979.<\/p>\n

SEGNBORA: That was NOT when we got married! That was 1992.<\/p>\n

INTERVIEWER: Something of a gap\u2026<\/p>\n

FREELORN: In our timeline she and I had only met three seasons before and had just found out we were going to be parents. Didn\u2019t seem like that much of a gap to us.
\n<\/i><\/p>\n

HEREWISS: One of those relativity things Herself’s always going on about.<\/p>\n

INTERVIEWER: So what you\u2019re saying is that,<\/i> in our world\u2019s meta, you\u2019ve all been openly gay for\u2026<\/p>\n

HEREWISS: More than forty years.
\n<\/i><\/p>\n

INYERVIEWER: That\u2019s\u2026 quite a while.<\/p>\n

HEREWISS: Look, if you\u2019re hunting for a polite way to say that you think she could have been writing these faster, let me whisper in your ear: the opinion\u2019s not exactly novel. But in any case, any further revelations about our sexualities would probably prove, um, redundant.<\/p>\n

FREELORN: You could always ask him about his discovery of chocolate.<\/p>\n

HEREWISS: \u2026Lorn. <\/i><\/p>\n

FREELORN: What he does is, he\u2014<\/p>\n

INTERVIEWER (to Sunspark: hastily) Sorry, I didn\u2019t really give you a chance to answer. How about you?<\/p>\n

SUNSPARK: I swing.<\/p>\n

INTERVIEWER: Which way?<\/p>\n

SUNSPARK: All the ways. (grin) Are you spoken for? I can demonstrate.<\/p>\n

INTERVIEWER: Uh, thanks, that\u2019s as much as I\u2026 uh. Thanks. I\u2019ll see myself out.<\/p>\n

(a PAUSE)<\/p>\n

HEREWISS: Thank Herself that\u2019s<\/i> over with. Who\u2019s the next one?<\/p>\n

FREELORN: Somebody called Buzzfeed.<\/p>\n

SEGNBORA: Oh Goddess, get some more booze in here, we\u2019re going to need it.<\/p>\n

SUNSPARK: And by the way, this time can you find some way to let them know you\u2019re not actually married to a horse\u2026?<\/i><\/p>\n

(for more details, see MiddleKingdoms.com<\/a>)<\/i><\/p>\n

(This post originally appeared on Tumblr<\/a> and has been crossposted here for those who don’t care for that platform’s data ToS.)<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

INTERVIEWER: \u2026So the question going the rounds in the fictional-character or character-meta world right now is: Have you always been gay? THE FIVE: (exchange bemused glances) HEREWISS: I\u2019m not sure…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":7613,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_lmt_disableupdate":"","_lmt_disable":"","activitypub_content_warning":"","activitypub_content_visibility":"","activitypub_max_image_attachments":4,"activitypub_interaction_policy_quote":"","activitypub_status":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[611,839,880,70],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-5913","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-meta","category-middle-kingdoms-2","category-middle-kingdoms-meta","category-writing"],"yoast_head":"\n"Have you always been gay?"<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\""Have you always been gay?" 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