“How weary, flat, stale, and unprofitable / Seem to me all the uses of this world…”
Trust a master, indeed the greatest Master so far of the English language, to make the best use out of a word for urine. For once upon a time, “stale” wasn’t just something that happened to bread after a few days. A beast’s “stale” was evidence that it had been somewhere, usually in the form of its having peed there.
I’m on Central Park South tonight, and in this hot, humid weather, what you mostly smell is the stale of the horses that wait, harnessed to their carriages, to take tourists for rides in Central Park. The City has regulations that keep the horses from working in too-hot or too-cold weather. But so far it has no laws I know of that can keep horse pee from breaking down into its components, especially in this weather. C.P.S reeks a bit tonight.
More than a bit.
Not that I care. I’m on my way home now. The night before last was spent in the Regency, which I’d booked some days ago. However, business in NY meant that I had to spend another night, and the Regency had no room for me. So I moved on to the Plaza, to visit the sublime and world-famous Eloise. Some patience on my part resulted in the kindly staff there giving me room 721, in which an escapee from Versailles seems to have run amuck with gold leaf. (I say nothing of the marble fireplace.)
But the Plaza too was full again today, meaning I had to change hotels once more come the evening. The Park Lane this time, 33rd floor (“Oh, I can’t go higher than the 6th floor,” said the plump, nervous lady next to me at checkin. “Are you happy being that high? “I run fast,” I said, “and besides, I’m not fated to die in a hotel fire.” (“What makes you SAY these things to people?” says my vaguely outraged conscience. Well, the same kind of thing that makes that lady expound, to total strangers, on why she can’t bear to be housed above the 6th floor. Too Much Information…)
No matter. Today was spent doing minor business in town, seeing the noble Don The Agent, an d sliding gently toward the evening, mostly eating sushi (the best thing to eat in this hot weather).
Tomorrow night I fly home. Late tomorrow night I see dawn over Ireland.
Thank You God. The air is stale tonight…but not for long.
